How I Exchanged Books With a Rock Star

By Remington Smith

Late May, while in Rome, I heard about Papa Roach coming to Louisville. Finally the concert is here and I'm super pumped. The day before the concert I've planned everything out: I was going to give Jacoby Shaddix (the lead singer) two books that we had discussed when he was last in Louisville.

The first one was "Blue Like Jazz" a book that my friend Bethany gave me because she is a Pez dispenser for Donald Miller books. So I felt that this book should travel as well. The other book, of course, was "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." However, I would have to buy it from the Borders downtown, but it was a block from the venue, so no biggie.

The final touch to all of this was the picture of Jacoby and I from the last show. I slipped it into "Blue Like Jazz" and wrote a little note explaining the significance of our conversation last November: "It has become one of my favorite anecdotes, not because it was ‘crazy fan’ talking to ‘famous rock star’ but one person sharing with another. In a world that feels so disconnected, that counts for a lot."

Lastly, I was going to be waiting in line for a while to get good seats. I planned to take my backpack with me, full of water, music, reading material, and have my friend Megan pick it up before they opened the doors.

July 17, 2007
Concert day. With only 4 hours of sleep I crawl out of bed feeling the hangover of exhaustion until I crank Papa Roach so that it fills the entire house and all of a sudden I'm running around, air guitaring, jumping up only to slam down right when the guitars kick back in.

I pack up, Paul Mick giving me a lift around 2:30. I was surprised to find people in the 90 degree heat already waiting in line, but I was still one of the first 20. With general admission shows the earlier you arrive the better guarantee for a front spot.

I locate the tour buses and in hopes of getting the books to Jacoby before the show, I wander to Borders, buy Perks and circle the buses a bit, asking roadies and other bands where Papa Roach is. I must have talked to 6+ people saying, "Do you know where Jacoby is? All I want to do is give him some books?" which must have sounded strange.

:this becomes important later...:

So I'm chillin, talking with people, reading a little bit here and there. I give Megan a call and she's to come by at 5:30 to get my bag before they open the doors at 6pm.

Too bad the doors opened at 5:20pm

I'm freakin out, I have my backpack so I can't go in, so I'm going to lose my spot, I'm going to have a bad view of everything, my life is over at this point.

I call Megan, "Can you be here, like, now?"
"Uhhh, no, I'm going to need another 10 minutes."

By 5:30 everyone has already been wanded by security, all my time has been wasted waiting in line to now be in the very back.

5:40 I recognize a friend from high school and begging, I ask her if she parked nearby? It turned out a couple of her buddies were working concessions for the event, so they put my bag behind the counter for me. I quickly got wanded, slipping in without giving up my camera or the Borders bag that held my presents. I then get bold and just walked to the front of one of the two lines to get into the actual arena, finding the people I had been chatting with and stood in line with them.

I was two people away from the doors. All was right with the world. I stopped bugging out.

They opened the doors and of course everyone is racing to get to the front. I ended up behind two middle aged women and I had to say to myself, "You know what, you're lucky you're even this close. One person away from the railing is not bad." Soon afterward I found out they were only staying for the first opening band, The Exies.

The lineup was:
The Exies
Buckcherry
Papa Roach
Hinder
:why Hinder was headlining, I have no idea since they sound like a crappy Nickelback knock off and don't really have any energy OR the history of hits like Papa Roach, but whatever:

So now I am going to be front and center for Papa Roach REGARDLESS of all the things that were tripping me up!


The Exies were pretty good. I had seen them open for Everclear some years back. Buckcherry was just funny because prior to the show I had talked to the guitarist briefly and he seemed gay or bi or he could have just been very metro. The idea of this rock band that talks about sleeping with girls and being all rock star as something not as "Marlboro Man" was amusing. On another note related to sexuality, the lead singer of Buckcherry gave the crowd a speech:

"We're all savages. Society doesn't want you to believe that. But we have three functions. To eat. To sleep. and TO FUCK! That's it!"

Of course, I found this really amusing after just finishing "Sex God" which discusses how sexuality is linked to our emotional and spiritual needs. This guy was saying sex for fun was okay because we're just animals and that was the exact argument “Sex God” disagreed with. Amusing.

And then, of course, Papa Roach comes on stage. Jacoby is running all over the place, jumping off of platforms, and by the second or third song GOES OUT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD! He went full circle up into the stands on the right, cuts through the crowd on the floor, goes up to the stands on the left and then comes back on stage after two songs of wandering. When you see Papa Roach live you know they're jiving to the music, but then they look at you and then they're even more pumped because you're pumped and then you see how excited the band is to see you enjoying it and it makes you even MORE crazy, nuts, happy, pumped, excited and it just continues, back and forth, back and forth.

The lead guitarist Jerry kept taking notice of me, as I was throwing my head and arms around, screaming lyrics; locking eyes and both of us singing along.

Now for this show I decided to see what my digital camera could do in a concert environment and I have to say it was less than satisfactory. It was taking too long for the camera to flash and process the image, so my pictures weren't as great as previous shows.

Furthermore, I took a lot less photos because I had small fists digging into my kidneys and lower ribs for most of the show. The pressure from people behind me was immense and restricted my movement quite a bit. So I thrashed from the torso up trying to show as much love as a human being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste is capable of. This uncomfortable situation and the crappy lag time on the camera just made me forget the shutter bug in me and focus on enjoying the show as much as possible.

For the last two songs, "Between Angels and Insects" (which is based on "Fight Club," Jacoby confirmed when we chatted last time) and "Last Resort" I disregarded the anonymous hands snaked across my waste trying to find a hold on the railing and let the music flow through me, riding the waves with jumps, headbanging and pumping fists. For most of the show it was a battle to keep your place, but with it coming to a close it no longer mattered.

The show ended, Jerry threw guitar picks out to the crowd and I was able to snag one : ) I immediately hopped over the railing to get the hell out of there. Hinder was next and I would suffer for Papa Roach, but not a band I didn't even want to see. So I left the venue and went out to buses. Meanwhile, I check my cargo pants’ pockets and both books have made it through the show no worse for the wear.

I waited for an hour, giving props to the guys from The Exies as I saw them and shrugging off the appearance of people from Buckcherry. Then some of the guys from Papa Roach came out. Jerry came out with the bassist Tobin, but Tobin is not into the fans like the other guys, so he walked right through us carrying a small bottle of Jack Daniels. Jerry is kind of shy, but he seems to be very humble and gracious about fans wanting autographs and pictures.

"You guys were great tonight. I was trying to show you some love, but I had fists and elbows in my back," I told him, feeling like the inability to display my usual enthusiasm (complete jumps into the air, etc.) seemed like I wasn't really into it.

But all he said with a slight smile was, "Yeah man, I could tell." I got a quick picture, thanked him. It takes a very humble person kind enough to not only to travel across the country to rock us out, but say hello to fans hanging out afterwards.


:first picture here:


Dave, the drummer, is a big dude with black hair who has the appearance and aura of a big kid. He loves to chat with people and hang out, so he strolled out a bit after Jerry, signing tickets and then making his way to his bus to clean up.

Finally

Jacoby came out another half hour later. I let these people from Frankfort chat with him first as I get my books ready for presentation. The other people got their pictures.

I approach Jacoby.

"So..." I start as I'm taking the books out of the Borders bag.

"Yeah!" he interjects, "People were telling me that some guy was trying to give me some books." He was looking at the books and then he looks at me, "I remember you!"

Of course on this I’m grinning ear to ear that he heard about my search to bring him gifts AND that he remembered me without giving any other information. I plow straight ahead.

"Okay, so here is ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower‘," and he moves to stand next to me to get a better look as I explain, "this is my favorite book, period," and he's nodding as I pull out the next book. "And here's Blue Like Jazz."

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning that,” and before I can go on he says, “Actually, I've got a book you should read, it's in the bus, come with me I'll get it for you, I'll just buy another one."



I asked for a quick picture before walking over to his bus


:second picture here:







His wife and son walked with us. I asked his wife about the tour, if she was staying for the entire thing.

"No, just a few shows, but he," pointing to her son in a black t-shirt, shorts and riding around on a metal scooter, "he's going to stay for a bit. It's actually our 10 year anniversary."

"Tonight?!"

"No, on the 19th."

"Does he have a show then?"

"No, I almost wasn't going to come but he said 'Come on, I don't have a show, you have to come out.'"

"How old is he?" I asked about her son, thinking of my youngest brother Tobias.

"He's 4, but we have another one back at home who is 2."

So they piled into the bus, Jacoby calling back to me to wait for a sec while he grabbed the book.

He came back out and handed me his book, “Conversations With God: An Uncommon Dialogue.” The book was pretty new, a white dust jacket with a laminated set of stamps as a bookmark in the center that I would find later. I started to feel real adrenaline hit me as my hands grasped the hardback novel. The reality of the situation is finally hitting me and I start mumbling out to him what I had already written on the back of the photograph he was going to discover tucked away in one of his new books. I look at him dead in the eye and just launch into it.

"The conversation you and I had the last time you were here was really memorable for me, not because it was ‘fan’ talking to ‘rock star’ but-"

"Person to person," Jacoby finished. I guess he remembered it for the same reasons I did.

I thanked him for the book, told him that my e-mail address was in the books and that I'd love it if he would let me know what he thought of them. I gave him a hug, wished him good night and I let him retreat into his bus.


I exchanged books with the lead singer of one of my favorite bands.

:sinking in:

:insert explosion of excited words that probably include various bits of "foul" language here:

I can't think of a better thing to take away from a concert as a memento! And the guy remembered me, he remembered our chat.

There is something absolutely wonderful about being able to give back in this way. The usual set up is performer giving to audience, but the band only receives an anonymous feedback.

He gives me music that enriches my life and I was able to give him books that will hopefully do the same. After this concert there has never been a better truism than ‘tis better to give than to receive.

I love that we can leave impacts on people like this. Person. To person.